12.14.2007

Merry Christmas

A very Merry Christmas and a safe and happy New Year to the Blog readers out there !

First off, we wish to express our gratitude to the loyal readers who had made regular visits to the UrbEx Barrie Blog. We have attempted to create an educational and entertaining record of our explorations and have these posted every two weeks. As a result of our work here, we have had 10,000+ page loads from just over 4,000 visitors this year.


As this is Christmas and the snow is very deep (which does not entice us to explore), we hope you enjoy the following festive frivolity. We look forward to your visits in the New Year.

Scary Santa

With the look of complete shock on the youngster's face here, I am left wondering how this large one-eyed ceramic Santa could have sneaked up on him without being observed.



I am feeling rather sorry for this mirthless and most 'un-jolly' fellow. I would suggest that perhaps a few eggnogs be in order before, during and after these mall-sittings.








Here is a case where perhaps too much eggnog may have been used to brace for the onslaught of kidlets.
If you are a parent and can see an empty bottle of Jack's under the old fellow's chair, be warned that St. Nick may drop your kid or vomit on their fav p.j.'s.



If parents hesitate to remove a kicking or screaming child from Santa's lap, they would be treated to a lovely portrait such as this.








Furthermore to the parental advice above, please be considerate to Santa and dose your child with Gravol® or perhaps a barbiturate (only under the supervision of a licensed medical doctor) before the trip to your local mall.





Given the lack of any terror within the eyes of the children seated with the scariest of Santa's, I would assume that the parents indeed did follow the dosing advice above.








Some Santas are rather worth their weight in that they are always vigilant in the department of toy safety. In this image, a very thoughtful Santa is carefully evaluating the choking risk of the toy in his hand.


Some of the readers more advanced in years may remember a time when dinosaurs roamed freely and malls did not exist.
Lucky children may have been treated to a visit by Santa (a drunk neighbour or crazy uncle Bob), at their home. These special visits took place upon the 'nice' furniture which were invariably wrapped in heavy plastic.




It is always interesting to see the evolution of the Jolly Elf. In 1944, 'Sandy Claws' resembled a cross between a Tim Burton character and Jason of Halloween fame.
Why these kids are not screaming is completely beyond me.


We now turn our attention to other time-honoured Christmas traditions such as having a bucket of KFC Chicken (with complete strangers instead of turkey with the in-laws . . . read:'out-laws').
The Colonel here at this Japanese mall take-out is the picture of Christmas itself.



And what better music to accompany your KFC Christmas feast than with the good Colonel himself featured on this special edition music record.
This peaceful image of the narcoleptic Sanders too close to the fire harks back to a simpler time before trans-fat.




MERRY HOFF-MAS EVERYONE
(Remember . . . the Hoff loves ya!)


EXTRA - Christmas Yummies from CopySix

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal/Whiskey/Rum

- Sample the Liquor to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the Liquor again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
- At this point it's best to make sure the Liquor is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.
- Turn off the mixer thingy.
- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
- Mix on the turner.
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.
- Sample the Liquor to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.
- Check the Liquor.
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Greash the oven.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
- Finish the bottle of Liquor.
- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas

2 comments:

Jann said...

Hey C-6! Dunno what is better the Santa series of Yule tide kiddies and their object of affection or the receipe you put up advising to "... strain your nuts."

Seasons best remember if you drink too much you'll forget all the things that bugged you about 2007

cheers Jannx

faded_x said...

bahahahahha!
love it! the pictures are wicked
and the recipe sounds intriguing. lol.